I feel as though I’m a placeholder on a infinite timeline, bound by my own humanity to fulfill a duty and then die off as everything does. I’m not important to the Grand Scheme nor am I necessary to complete the universe. I’m here to take up space and time until my existence is no longer needed. Is that to say I won’t contribute to the world? Of course not; I have, I am, and I will continue to contribute my own uniqueness to the space around me. 

 I have things I want to accomplish, people I want to meet, and adventures I want to partake in. I have too much love to give and too many experiences to live through before I can die off and become part of the soil. 

I just feel so tired; although that word does not quite cover the intensity of the emotions swirling inside my brain. I feel like a corpse in the living realm, never fully sleeping or awake, and that simple fact is slowly tearing me apart from the inside out. I want to be more than a soul piloting a body and living a mediocre life. I want to do grand things that change the whole universe and the beings inhabiting it. I want to be loved for who I am and not what I can offer because that is all I have ever been to people. Somebody to provide a service without a polite please or thank you in return. 

I just want to be necessary to complete the big picture. That’s all. 

Advertisements