It’s been a week of radio silence and yet, I still do not know where we stand. I suppose if you cared enough, you would put me out of my misery but the joke is on me. I knew you were too perfect to be real and you have shown me that I was right in my assumption. This past month has been a roller coaster of my emotions, yet I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. You have shown me what it was like to love and be loved in return; although, you were the first to bring up all of it. I was content in our little “new relationship” bubble but you were hurting and wanted the old feelings back. At least, that’s my guess as I sit here and debate on whether to be bitter or sad.
I want to be bitter because you strung me along these past three weeks and then effectively ended it without so much as a second thought. Or maybe I did? Either way, you’re silent and I’m left drowning in my own worries.
I want to be sad because these past three weeks were some of the best I have ever experienced. I got to see what it was like to be a priority for someone and it was lovely. I got to feel loved, both physically and emotionally, and I got to witness what it was like to laugh until I couldn’t breathe. I got to witness someone with the same music taste, the same sense of humor, and the same outlook on life as me. I got to have someone to talk to, both about the universe and what kind of cereal I like. I wouldn’t trade my three weeks of beautiful acceptance for the world, but I wouldn’t wish this kind of conflict on my worst enemy. It’s not worth it and I guess I wasn’t either?
Here’s to the “rest of our lives” and your absence in mine.
I’ll complete my list of adventures without you since you seem keen on doing the same.